LiverOnTheFritz

The Sand People 'Twas evening and the sneaky snakes Did sneak and snake in the yard: All thick were the shakes, And the fat man ate lard. "Beware the arabs my son! The turbans that smell, the gas they sell! Beware the taliban clan, not fun The infamous bin laden form hell!" He took his nuclear bomb in hand; Long time the evil man he sought— So passed out he in the desert land From those killer shrooms he bought. And as in deep thought he stood, The arabs with their eyes of flame, Came riding through the hood, And babbled as they came! One, two! One, two! And Through And Through The nuclear bombs went Bang! While chew

OK, this might sound a little strange, but the other day, i found out that I was adopted.  I found out that I was an adopted and unloved child.  The thought of this made me want to urinate rivers of pain through extacy filled living rooms, dotted with stucco with blood dripping from it.  You would think there would be some clues....some....HINTS that would've led me to finding out that My "so called parents" were really parents at all. I would've never have thought that my long dark fingernails would've been ripped from thine hand after times of shaving my armpits with shavy, long blades.  Why doth they rip them so hard?  Why.... After i foun

I was sittin on the porch drunk fuckin my stoop, When i felt like takin a stanky ass poop, I undid my belt, and threw off my pants, When i dropped one all over and did my lil dance. It went OOOOOO, the poop smells so shitty, Everybody gonna get down in my city, Mil town baby, thats where I stay, Eatin Micky D's Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait. Poopidy Doop, Froot Loopidy Scoop, Thats Baskin Robbins flavor number 3 to the 2, So get a lil crazy, and get a lil whack, While I pull out my 10 lb fuzzy ballsack

OK, this might sound a little strange, but the other day, i found out that I was adopted.  I found out that I was an adopted and unloved child.  The thought of this made me want to urinate rivers of pain through extacy filled living rooms, dotted with stucco with blood dripping from it.  You would think there would be some clues....some....HINTS that would've led me to finding out that My "so called parents" were really parents at all. I would've never have thought that my long dark fingernails would've been ripped from thine hand after times of shaving my armpits with shavy, long blades.  Why doth they rip them so hard?  Why.... After i foun

In an land far to the north, where the walri sing and exchange puncture wounds, there lived a tiny man.  Two feet tall to the tip of his fro, golden and yellow and frizzy...like woah.  To the tip of his head he stood one foot six, so this made it hard to pick up the chicks.  Although, not many females dwell in this land of snow and ice.  Think of Alaska, but with a lot more pirates...Well onto the story of Bernie, he loves to play in the snow, and occasionally read the Canterbury Tales.  A lot of people find Bernie to be quite feminine, but with a name like Bernie, thats enough testosterone right there to last a couple of weeks.  Bernie also